The Village Gossip Sniffs Scandal

"Well, Constable, hear you and Seth helped keep the stove warm the
other night, while thieves walked off with the postoffice," Marthy
announced; "what I'd like to know is, how much bitters, rheumatism
bitters, you had during the evening?"

"Well, Marthy Perkins, you ought to be the last to throw it up to Seth
that he's obliged to spend his evenings round a corner grocery--that's
adding insult to injury."

"Insult to injury I reckon can stand, Rube; it's when you add Seth's
bitters that it staggers."

But Seth, who never minded Marthy's stings and jibes, only remarked:
"The recipy for them bitters was given to me by a blame good doctor."

"That cuts you out, Wiggins," the Squire said playfully.

"No, I don't care about standing father to Seth's bitters," "Doc"
Wiggins remarked, "but I've tasted worse stuff on a cold night."

"Oh, Seth ain't pertickler about the temperature, when he takes a dose
of bitters. Hot or cold, it's all the same to him," finished Marthy.

Seth took the opportunity to whisper to her: "You're going to sit next
to me in 'Doc' Wiggins' sleigh to-night, ain't you, Marthy?"

"Indeed I ain't," said the spinster, scornfully tossing her head, "my
place will have to be filled by the bitters-bottle; I am going with the
Squire and Mrs. Bartlett."