Book 2 Chapter 8 Gods Peace in the Heart

He remembered how he had been tempted in Kousminski, so that he
had begun to regret the house and the forest and the farm and the
land, and he asked himself if he regretted them now, and it even
seemed strange to think that he could regret them. He remembered
all he had seen to-day; the woman with the children, and without
her husband, who was in prison for having cut down trees in his
(Nekhludoff's) forest, and the terrible Matrona, who considered,
or at least talked as if she considered, that women of her
position must give themselves to the gentlefolk; he remembered
her relation to the babies, the way in which they were taken to
the Foundlings' Hospital, and the unfortunate, smiling, wizened
baby with the patchwork cap, dying of starvation. And then he
suddenly remembered the prison, the shaved heads, the cells, the
disgusting smells, the chains, and, by the side of it all, the
madly lavish city lift of the rich, himself included.

The bright moon, now almost full, rose above the barn. Dark
shadows fell across the yard, and the iron roof of the ruined
house shone bright. As if unwilling to waste this light, the
nightingales again began their trills.

Nekhludoff called to mind how he had begun to consider his life
in the garden of Kousminski when deciding what he was going to
do, and remembered how confused he had become, how he could not
arrive at any decision, how many difficulties each question had
presented. He asked himself these questions now, and was
surprised how simple it all was. It was simple because he was not
thinking now of what would be the results for himself, but only
thought of what he had to do. And, strange to say, what he had to
do for himself he could not decide, but what he had to do for
others he knew without any doubt. He had no doubt that he must
not leave Katusha, but go on helping her. He had no doubt that he
must study, investigate, clear up, understand all this business
concerning judgment and punishment, which he felt he saw
differently to other people. What would result from it all he did
not know, but he knew for certain that he must do it. And this
firm assurance gave him joy.