Flight

How mamma ever consented to the plan, I do not know. Because
papa had settled it and given his word, perhaps; for in those
cases I know she never interfered; necessity made her yield.
She would not go with us; she went to Paris, where Aunt Gary
was come for the winter. Ransom went home to join the army;
and papa and I took our holiday. I ought not to have been so
happy, with so many causes of anxiety on my mind; Ransom in
the war on one side, and Christian already engaged on the
opposite side; both in danger, not to speak of other friends
whom I knew; and my own and Mr. Thorold's future so very dark
to look forward to. But I was happy. I believe, the very
enormous pressure of things to trouble me, helped me to throw
off the weight. In fact, it was too heavy for me to bear. I
had trusted and given up myself to God; it was not a mock
trust or submission; I laid off my cares, or in the expressive
Bible words, "rolled them" upon him. And then I went light.
Even my self-spoken sentence, the declaration that I ought not
to marry a person who was not a Christian, did not crush me as
I thought it would. Somebody has said very truly, "There is a
healing power in truth." It is correct in more ways than one.
And especially in truth towards God, in whole-hearted devotion
to him, or as the Bible says again, in "wholly following the
Lord," there is strength and healing; "quietness and assurance
for ever." I was no nearer despair now than I had been before.
And I was more ready for my holiday.