Progress of the Evil Spirit

When, therefore, she praised William Edgerton for those qualities
which I well knew I did not possess, I could not resist the annoyance.
My self-esteem--continually active--stimulated as it had been
by the constant moral strife, to which it had been subjected from
boyhood--was continually apprehending disparagement. Of the purity
of Julia's heart, and the chastity of her conduct, the very freedom
of her utterance was conclusive. Had she felt one single improper
emotion toward William Edgerton, her lips would never have voluntarily
uttered his name, and never in the language of applause. On this
head I had not then the slightest apprehension. It was not jealousy
so much as EGOISME that was preying upon me. Whatever it was,
however, it could not be repressed as I listened to the eulogistic
language of my wife. I strove, but could not subdue, altogether,
the evil spirit which was fast becoming predominant within me. Yet,
though speaking under its immediate influence, I was very far from
betraying its true nature. My egoisme had not yet made such advances
as to become reckless and incautious. I surprised her by my answer
to her eulogies.

"I have no doubt he is amiable--he is amiable--but that is not
enough for a man. He must be something more than amiable, if he
would escape the imputation of being feeble--something more if he
would be anything!"

Julia looked at me with eyes of profound and dilating astonishment.
Having got thus far, it was easy to advance. The first step is half
the journey in all such cases.