The chill of dawn was in the air when I awoke, and it was some
few moments before, with a rush, I remembered why I was kneeling
there beside Charmian's bed. Shivering, I rose and walked up and
down to reduce the stiffness in my limbs.
The fire was out and I had no mind to light it, for I was in no
mood to break my fast, though the necessary things stood ready,
as her orderly hands had set them, and the plates and cups and
saucers twinkled at me from the little cupboard I had made to
hold them; a cupboard whose construction she had overlooked with
a critical eye. And I must needs remember how she had insisted
on being permitted to drive in three nails with her own hand--I
could put my finger on those very nails; how she had tapped at
those nails for fear of missing them; how beautiful she had
looked in her coarse apron, and with her sleeves rolled up over
her round white arms--how womanly and sweet; yet I had dared to
think--had dared to call her--a Messalina! Oh, that my tongue
had withered or ever I had coupled one so pure and noble with a
creature so base and common!
So thinking, I sighed and went out into the dawn; as I closed the
door behind me its hollow slam struck me sharply, and I called to
mind how she had called it a bad and ill-fitting door. And
indeed so it was.