The Estray - Chapter 7 Aftermath

Prosper was announced, and Joan, keeping her stillness, merely turned
her head toward him as he came into the room.

She saw his rapid observation of the room, of her, even before she
noticed the very apparent change in him. For he, too, was haggard and
utterly serious as she did not remember him. He stood before her fire
and asked her jerkily if she would let him smoke. She said "Yes," and
those were the only words spoken for five unbearable minutes the
seconds of which her heart beat out like a shaky hammer in some worn
machine.

Prosper smoked and stood there looking, now at her, now at the fire.
At last, with difficulty, he smiled. "You are not going to make it
easy for me, are you, Joan?"

For her part she was not looking at him. She kept her eyes on the fire
and this averted look distressed and irritated his nerves.

"I am not trying to make it hard," she said; "I want you to say what
you came to say and go."

"Did you ever love me, Joan?"

He had said it to force a look from her, but it had the effect only of
making her more still, if possible.

"I don't know," she said slowly, answering with her old directness. "I
thought you needed me. I was alone. I was scared of the emptiness when
I went out and looked down the valley. I thought Pierre had gone out
of the world and there was no living thing that wanted me. I came back
and you met me and you put your arms round me and you said"--she
closed her eyes and repeated his speech as though she had just heard
it--"'Don't leave me, Joan.'"