Target Alaska Fear of Fear

"It is the perpetual dread of fear, the fear of fear, that shapes the face of a brave man." Georges Bernanos, The Diary of a Country Priest, 1936 Peter remained quiet, safely hidden under a dark stairwell behind a row of drums. A solid square in the open-grid metal floor hid him from those below. He could peek down and see the men below around Juliana and Sean. Her screams, as they slapped her face, were deafening. He had never met Juliana in person but he admired her from afar. He had studied all of her cases and had followed her every move for several years. Now, frozen with fear, he could only watch.

"I'm going to die today, I know it," he thought. Tears started rolling down his face and he turned away, unable to watch anymore. He tried to cover his ears, but he still heard the screams. "I'm a coward," he thought. "No one should ever have to feel the way I feel at this moment."

From below, he heard Sean shout, "Stop it, let her go, I am FBI!"

Peter started to move; then, with his heart pounding hard in his chest, shrank back. But when Juliana cried out, it was like a needle piercing his ear and without thinking he moved forward. Something new was driving him. He no longer feared for his life; he feared the shame of a coward, allowing Sean and Juliana to die because he was scared. Sweat drenched his clothing, his legs were wobbly, but he managed to move. His eyes focused on a red button on a wall panel nearest the garage doors. It was a backup control so that workers upstairs could open the doors.