The Lamp That Never Went Out

"What's the pink cushion on the seat?" asked Hamilton.

"That's not a pink cushion, dear old myoptic," said Bones calmly;
"that's my chauffeur--Ali ben Ahmed."

"Good lor!" said the impressed Hamilton. "You've a nerve to drive into
the City with a sky-blue Kroo boy."

Bones shrugged his shoulders.

"We attracted a certain amount of attention," he admitted, not without
satisfaction.

"Naturally," said Hamilton, going back to his desk. "People thought
you were advertising Pill Pellets for Pale Poultry. When did you buy
this infernal machine?"

Bones, at his desk, crossed his legs and put his fingers together.

"Negotiations, dear old Ham, have been in progress for a month," he
recited. "I have been taking lessons on the quiet, and to-day--proof!"
He took out his pocket-book and threw a paper with a lordly air towards
his partner. It fell half-way on the floor.

"Don't trouble to get up," said Hamilton. "It's your motor licence.
You needn't be able to drive a car to get that."

And then Bones dropped his attitude of insouciance and became a
vociferous advertisement for the six-cylinder Carter-Crispley ("the big
car that's made like a clock"). He became double pages with
illustrations and handbooks and electric signs. He spoke of Carter and
of Crispley individually and collectively with enthusiasm, affection,
and reverence.

"Oh!" said Hamilton, when he had finished. "It sounds good."

"Sounds good!" scoffed Bones. "Dear old sceptical one, that car..."

And so forth.

All excesses being their own punishment, two days later Bones renewed
an undesirable acquaintance. In the early days of Schemes, Ltd., Mr.
Augustus Tibbetts had purchased a small weekly newspaper called the
Flame. Apart from the losses he incurred during its short career,
the experience was made remarkable by the fact that he became
acquainted with Mr. Jelf, a young and immensely self-satisfied man in
pince-nez, who habitually spoke uncharitably of bishops, and never
referred to members of the Government without causing sensitive people
to shudder.