First Part Chapter 46

MME. DE MACUMER TO THE COMTESSE DE L'ESTORADE
1829.

My sweet, tender Renee, you will have learned from the papers the
terrible calamity which has overwhelmed me. I have not been able to
write you even a word. For twenty days I never left his bedside; I
received his last breath and closed his eyes; I kept holy watch over
him with the priests and repeated the prayers for the dead. The cruel
pangs I suffered were accepted by me as a rightful punishment; and
yet, when I saw on his calm lips the smile which was his last farewell
to me, how was it possible to believe that I had caused his death!

Be it so or not, he is gone, and I am left. To you, who have known us
both so well, what more need I say? These words contain all. Oh! I
would give my share of Heaven to hear the flattering tale that my
prayers have power to bring him back to life! To see him again, to
have him once more mine, were it only for a second, would mean that I
could draw breath again without mortal agony. Will you not come soon
and soothe me with such promises? Is not your love strong enough to
deceive me?

But stay! it was you who told me beforehand that he would suffer
through me. Was it so indeed? Yes, it is true, I had no right to his
love. Like a thief, I took what was not mine, and my frenzied grasp
has crushed the life out of my bliss. The madness is over now, but I
feel that I am alone. Merciful God! what torture of the damned can
exceed the misery in that word?