Book Five Chapter 12 A Man of Business

Mrs Harrel wept too much to make any answer; and turning from her to Cecilia, "Oh Madam," he cried, "to you, indeed, I dare not speak! I have used you most unworthily, but I pay for it all! I ask you not to pity or forgive me, I know it is impossible you should do either."

"No," cried the softened Cecilia, "it is not impossible, I do both at this moment, and I hope--"

"Do not hope," interrupted he, "be not so angelic, for I cannot bear it! benevolence like yours should have fallen into worthier hands. But come, let us return to the company. My head grows giddy, but my heart is still heavy; I must make them more fit companions for each other."

He would then have hurried them back; but Cecilia, endeavouring to stop him, said "You do not mean, I hope, to call for more wine?"

"Why not?" cried he, with affected spirit, "what, shall we not be merry before we part? Yes, we will all be merry, for if we are not, how shall we part at all?--Oh not without a struggle!--" Then, stopping, he paused a moment, and casting off the mask of levity, said in accents the most solemn "I commit this packet to you," giving a sealed parcel to Cecilia; "had I written it later, its contents had been kinder to my wife, for now the hour of separation approaches, ill will and resentment subside. Poor Priscilla!--I am sorry--but you will succour her, I am sure you will,--Oh had I known you myself before this infatuation--bright pattern of all goodness!-- but I was devoted,--a ruined wretch before ever you entered my house; unworthy to be saved, unworthy that virtues such as yours should dwell under the same roof with me! But come,--come now, or my resolution will waver, and I shall not go at last."