Book Four The Bruising of the Wings Chapter 1 The Kiss that Lied

To keep faith with John and Milly, should I have shunned him? But there was nothing to warn me; he never spoke of love; I never thought of it. If he had spoken earlier, I might have known what to do. It might have been the danger signal. Why could he not have kept away? Why did he not speak a word of love until it was too late--until--ah, I was so happy!

But he does love me. There's truer speech than that of words, and his lips--that kissed me, but said he did not love--have told two stories. I know which to believe!

And Milly knows. She is too wise to contend with Me.

I shall never know what brought Ned to the house--three weeks ago, but I haven't dared to write of it--I shall never know what happened before I saw him.

I ran into the library with a song bubbling to my lips--for I was thinking of him--and the gladness of it was in my eyes when I found him there. He started and turned to me a face of confusion--yes, and of worship. He fumbled with a book on the table, and glanced toward the door as if he would have left me. I saw that, but I didn't think--there was no time to think, but I must have felt that a crisis had come that would decide our lives. All the fear, all the sweet shame that I had felt before him vanished. My heart beat wildly for happiness, but I was calm.