Diary of a Teen Prodigy: The College Life - Taming the Golden Boys: Volume 3 (Chapter 3, page 1 of 1)

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Chapter 3

Jeda POV
“What?!” I heard Zai and Luis yelling me as if they were conjoined twins by the mouth.
“Why are you just now telling us this?” Zai was up in my face. The Greek salad that he had had for lunch was still fresh on his breath.
“Dude have a Tic-Tac.” I said as I pushed his face outta mines.
“You mean Penelope was in New York visiting Rain? I actually could have flown in over the weekend and saw her?” He asked as if he were having trouble believing that she had been so close yet so far away. I pushed past both of them.
“Trust me; they are not ready to see either of you.”
“Fuck, so you went to New York alone without telling us? Man that’s foul.” Zai shouted in my face as he pushed me. I raised my eyes glaring at him daring him to do it again.
“Must admit, that is pretty raw.”
“Hey, my girl told me not to tell you; that Nevada didn’t want to see you. And Penelope especially didn’t want to see you.” I emphasized as I shot a look of steel over to Luis.
“Face it, you took your girls for granted; don’t blame me.”
“Yup gotta agree with him on that.” Moui innocently chimed in.
Immediately Zai and Luis turned on him.
“Who asked you?” Again they sounded like conjoined twins.
“Look all I know is that you both had something good; something special and you both decided to shit on it. I can’t help it if you’ve been replaced.” I swear that last statement slipped out in the heat of the moment. I swear I wasn’t trying to be a nark.
“Are you two the North America Siamese twins?” I couldn’t help but ask giggling a little to myself. Before I could recover from my slip of the tongue, I was immediately grabbed by the collar and thrown onto my tiny cot-of–a-bed with two beefy dudes hovering over me.
“If anyone is watching this; it would so look like a gang rape. Not in a good way.” Moui was clearly enjoying this spectacle as he watched the two of them assault me with question after question.
“Who’s been replaced?”
“Is Nevada cheating on me?”
“Penelope got a boyfriend?”
“Who? Who? Who?” They scream in union as they roughed me up by the collar shaking me slightly.
“Who let the owls in?” Moui asked from his perch on the computer desk as he sat munching on some black grapes .
“Choir boy, shut up!” The twins went.
“Hey don’t take it out on me; hoot-nannies. I’ll be in the library.” Moui said as he jumped off of his perch grabbing his book bag and walking out the door. I sat up as I yanked my collar out from under their grasps.
“Look, I don’t know the particulars.” I started. Zai and Luis eased back off of me. Zai took over the seat that Moui had vacated near the computer and Luis remained standing nearby.
“I’m not sure but as far as Nevada is concerned; I just know some upper-class dide she met has been pushing up on her real hard.”
“Hmm, bet that’s the clown she met during orientation. Tour-guide my ass.” He grimaced as he spat.
“Hey dude! Watch that.”
“What about Penelope? Who is she fucking?”
Zai and I both looked at Luis trying to understand him. Could he seriously be asking us that?
“Dude, do you hear yourself?” Zai beat me to the punch. “Are you seriously in a position to even care let along ask something like that?” At least Luis had the good sense to look guilty.
Luis POV
Yea I know I up big time. I know I said no committed relationship; no strings attached... but… Don’t we guys also have the prerogative to change our minds? Isn’t growing up not only about making mistakes; but also admitting and learning from them? Yea, being with Penelope had somehow matured me when I wasn’t paying attention and to be honest with myself for the first time in a long time I was starting to like being me. Penelope had given me what I had been starving for my entire life: unconditional love and acceptance. I couldn’t let things end like this; especially if something was going on with her. I owed her that much.
“Hey I admit I was wrong about that whole Penelope thing. I handled it badly; but does that mean I have to pay for that mistake the rest of my life?”
Zai and Jeda exchanged secret glances. I got that same feeling like before; the one like everyone knew something but me. This time I wasn’t willing to let it go.
“Okay guys, spill it already? I want the truth about what’s really going on with Penelope and not that bullshit you been feeding me since she left five months ago.”
They looked at each other again with questioning eyes. There was no mistaking it; something was definitely going on with her-and judging by the looks of them it was major.
Zai exhaled and Jeda looked away. I swear my heart stopped and then started again, only the pacing was off the Richter scale. My inner core began to shake. I steadied myself against the wall. I could feel the sweat pouring from my pores as my throat tightened and dried up. Was I about to faint or was I having a coronary? I literally was afraid to hear their next words, but I was even more scared of not knowing.
“It’s not because I want to tell you,” Jeda started.
“But I feel you have a right to know.” Zai finished. Their words and the way that they were delivering the message made me weak in the knees as my legs suddenly felt like they would give out from under me. I had to sit down. With shaky legs I managed to find my bunk and to sit on it. God help me please, I silently begged. My heart was bursting and I felt my nerves beginning to prickle. I had never been so scared in my life. My fingers twitched a little as numbness slowly began tracing itself up my right arm. What on earth could make me like this?
“Penelope is…”
“Pregnant…” Suddenly a chill engulfed my being- I was ice cold. I wasn’t sure who started and who finished. The ringing in my ears drowned our all distinction of voices; sound seemed to penetrate my eardrums in slo-mo. All I heard was Penelope -- pregnant before I fell off my bed and onto the floor not realizing that my butt ached from the abruptness of the hard floor breaking my fall.
“What?” I whispered knowing I must have heard wrong or they must have their facts mixed up. I had just spoken to her weeks ago. She told me everything was fine and to go on with my life; live well. How could she… Suddenly my thoughts trailed off at the remembrance of our encounters. Shit, I had not only been careless, but reckless with her. I mean reckless like I had never ever been with a girl before. I couldn’t even remember how many times we had made love bareback. I could barely remember hearing her voice asking about protection and my arrogant cavalier attitude vaguely alluding that I would pull out before those crucial moments. Had I somehow subconsciously planned this from the first time?
I then remembered each of those crucial moments individually with my eyes beginning to water at the bittersweet memories of how sweet it felt to be inside of her and all those wonderful tingling feelings of having my hot juices filling her up and my manhood buried deep within her warmth. Why had I been so reckless like that with her? It had been absolutely mind-blowing for me; so much so that I didn’t even have the strength or the will to pull out. I could have stayed locked inside of her for a million years or more. I had never felt more safe or secure than when I was locked up inside of her. It was exhilarating, calming and liberating all rolled up in one delicious bittersweet moment- I couldn’t escape it. No I didn’t want to be free.
I could vividly remember each and every one of those times; lining them up one-by-one and placing a distinct place and time to each and every one of those memories. That was just how special it was for me to be with Penelope. God what the hell was I thinking to ever let her go? Shit I wanted her back. Before I could understand my actions; already I had packed and phoned the airline and booked a flight to Baltimore.
I wasn’t sure what I would say or do; but I only knew that not doing anything wasn’t an option. Am I ready to be a father? Am I ready to be in a committed relationship? Am I ready to be faithful? Am I ready to grow up? I had nothing but questions and no answers. Almost my entire life I had been terrorize at the very ideas of being in a relationship, having a family, loving someone only to have it ripped apart from me leaving me broken again like my mom did when she walked out of our lives. However, I never imagined that losing someone like Penelope and my child could be even more devastating and terrifying; truth told I was petrified.
“Man you should really see her baby bump; and feel it. Wow it’s like nothing I could ever explain to you.” I kept hearing Jeda’s words echoing over and over inside my head as I sat in the plane clutching at the picture that he had given me. Penelope was more beautiful than I remembered and to see her baby bump brought tears to my eyes. I gently stroked my thumb over the picture trying to get a feel of her baby bump; my baby.
I was mad as hell, fit to be tied but most of all I was . How could another man be the first to touch my baby’s bump? How could another man be the first to feel my baby growing inside the stomach of the woman I loved? If it were possible; I hated myself more and more with each passing moment. Penelope had the power to take me up soaring to the sky or tumbling down crashing into the abyss; and it all had to do with how I treated her and her passive response to my actions. Never once did she cling to me, complain or ask me to stay by her side. She took my pittance as if it had been gold, treasuring it and giving my nothingness meaning. She had transformed me without trying and without knowing it. The irony of it all was what I wanted most; I had pushed away and now that I was in jeopardy of losing it forever I was beyond scared- I was hopeless.
“So tell me what was up with Nevada?” I couldn’t sleep and I refused to allow Jeda to sleep until he gave me every single detail of what was going on with Nevada.
Groggily Jeda tossed in his bunk kicking wildly at me as he cried, “What… what now? Dude, I told you everything already.” His whines did not affect me as I pulled and tugged at him trying to drag him out of bed and wake him up.
“Ow,” before I knew it I felt his balled knuckles slugging me knocking me off of his bunk and onto the cold hard wooden floor.
“Dude, sup with that?” Before I knew it lights were on and towering over me was Jeda. Jeda is a funny dude. He’s slow to anger but once he’s riled up it’s like unleashing the powers of Satan. I cowered as I laid on the floor at his feet. Silently I was preparing myself for a possible stomping, but instead he let out an exasperated sigh and then said,
“Look if you are that curious about her, do like Luis did and hop a redeye.” He stated just like that. I cocked a half smile on my face. Sometimes I am slow; why didn’t I think of that, duh. We still had a week left before Spring semester would begin, why the hell not?
I know I said I was going to the library, but seriously it was winter break. I just had to escape those pansies. What the hell was happening to my boys? In a year and a half time three chicks had whipped my boys and I alone was still renegade. Yea I know I fell for Nevada, but almost doesn’t count, right?
I needed to get away from them. I needed to find myself and a life of my own. Yea I was screwing around with Vanilla, but it wasn’t serious; it was just sex. The sex was always hot, reliable, fresh and more than I had ever dreamed of. For all intensive purposes, Vanilla was my idea partner. She wasn’t looking for nor did she want a serious relationship; she was perfect for me. I wasn’t looking for nor did I want a serious relationship neither. So somebody please tell me, how and why did I end up at her dorm knocking on her door?
“Yea?” I heard a male’s voice asking as her door suddenly opened. Wow, she was looking wildly exotic as ever with her semi-kinky auburn curly tresses strewed about her head like she had been in a wrestling match for WWF Wrestlemania. She greeted me wearing a sheet draped halfway around her solid voluptuous body. Her skin was like milky mocha white-hot chocolate. She looked like a creamy caramel delight; my heart skipped a beat. Then it suddenly stopped when the male voice I had heard in the background materialized into a half dressed man wearing only his pants walking up behind her wrapping her into his arms.
“Company?” He asked as he placed a kiss on the back of her neck. What got me more was she didn’t even blink. She was shameless; just smiling as if she had been expecting a pizza delivery as she warmly greeted:
“Moui, this is a surprise; c’mon in.” I couldn’t imagine or explain what I was feeling; maybe because I was suddenly numb and confused.
His name was Kyle and so help me God the dude was whiter than Wonder bread. There was nothing about him that remotely seemed to gel with her. Okay, I guess one could say that he had somewhat of a nice body build- tall, lean with a little muscle definition showing a six-pack, biceps and pects. His hair matched his body type it was sleek but not greasy, thin but not thinning and he was a redhead with freckles sprinkled sparingly in his face. I scowled as I looked over at the messiness of her bed that told me what they had been doing just moments before my arrival. God if I had been ten minutes earlier, no telling what I would have walked in on. She was a shameless hussy, I thought. Then I rebuked myself, wasn’t that the pot calling the kettle black?
“So what brings you by?” Vanilla asked as she set a couple of root beers out on the desk for us. I grabbed one and popped the top. Mm, the liquid was slightly warm as if she had just placed it into the fridge.
“Just passing by,” I responded feebly. If I had been in my right mind I would have made up an excuse and left after witnessing this abomination. I was fit to be tied; but I couldn’t show any emotions. I wasn’t about to be beat at my own game. I was too shocked to react; and even now I was struggling trying to get a grip on what I was feeling after having caught her with another man. Did I have a right to say something? Is she cheating on me? Am I jealous? But we’re only friends with benefits, right?
“Cool, Kyle and I were about to go grab a bite to eat. Wanna come?” She asked as if this was no big deal; like I was the intruder. Huh, go figure. Was I the third-wheel? Oh , I am the 3rd-wheel. She had taken a quick shower and thrown on a pair of leggings with a flowery mini-dress. Somehow she had managed those wild-kinky curls into a funky look that only she could pull off. She looked like one hot exotic mulatto. I was a little ashamed of myself; how could I still want her after catching her practically in the act? It was sad but true. I found my nature rising at the sight of her and one whiff of her sweet-smelling perfume.
“Sure,” I couldn’t believe that I was agreeing to be a third wheel; but I wasn’t willing to let her be alone with Kyle. I had to put a stop to this; Kyle had to go. I was determined that she was coming home with me tonight. Ah fuck; could I be whipped also?
MIT Campus
“I can’t believe we actually went to see that kiddy movie.” I laughed out as Cody and I strolled over the Harvard Bridge on Massachusetts Ave on the way back to my dorm.
“C’mon I can tell the way you were laughing you loved Rio.” He coaxed.
“Not, I only endured it not to hurt your feelings.” I playfully swatted at him. He was fast as he dashed out from under my clutches.
“Ha, ha you can’t catch me; liar-liar pants on fire…” he jeered running and turning down the Charles River Bike Path. I laughed like I hadn’t laughed in years; it was refreshing, relaxing and liberating. Being with Cody was comfortable. He felt like an older brother, a friend and sometimes a boyfriend all in one. He was easy to talk to and always made me smile. I could truly forget all my worries when I was with him.
“Catch me if you can,” he called out as he stopped; giving me a chance to try and catch up to him. There was a crescent moon out with a very starry night sky. The water on the Charles River was calming and it evoked a gentle breeze. The air had a slight chill to it, but running around like a couple of kids kept us warm along with our laughter. Finally having caught up to Cody, I jumped onto him forcing him to give me a piggyback ride the rest of the way back to my dorm. His back was strong, warm and comforting as I rested my lazy head on his shoulder.
“Shall I sing you a song?” I whispered into his ear. I felt him smiling as he responded:
“Sure, I was having trouble staying awake anyways,” he joked teasing me about my off-key singing.
“Ha-ha…” I answered as I playfully thumped the back of his head.
“Ow, sorry…” he laughed as he pulled me up a little closer to his body and getting a better grip around my legs.
“Ahem…” I cleared my throat and then I began my song.
“My mind is all aflutter,
…listening to the joyous… enchanting music…
My mind is all a flutter!

I strain my eyebrows in your direction...

Am I to go on pleading for you with melting heart,
While you are enjoying yourself with other women? Is it right? Is it proper?
Is it what dharma is?
My heart dances when you play the flute! (My sad heart is all aflutter) ...
“Are you crying?” he whispered near my ear.
“What?” I said not having realized that while I sang tears ran gently down my cheeks kissing him on the back of his neck.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered. “That song makes me sad.” I explained.
“It makes you think of him?” He asked with understanding and empathic concern.
I nodded my head as my voice was choked out with emotions thinking about how Zai had betrayed me- betrayed our love.
“Have you talked things out with him yet?”
“Um-un-uh,” I admitted as I shook my head no. I gnawed at my bare knuckles nervously.
“I can’t tell you what to do… But, don’t you think it’s time you two cleared the air?”
“I know and I plan to; maybe after the end of spring semester.” I confided in him.
“Wow, you’re going to make him wait that long? Isn’t that just a tad bit cruel?”
“It’s not that…” I honestly answered as I chewed at my lower lip. “It’s… it’s…” I hesitated.
“It’s what?” He gently prodded as he continued carrying me closer to my dorm.
I took a deep breath before saying, “It’s just that I don’t trust myself yet.” I finally admitted the truth.
“Hmm, I think I understand. You’re scared then?”
“A little. I think that if I talk to him; I’ll take him back. You know forgive him.”
“Is that so bad? Forgiving him? You still love him, right?”
“Yes, but…” I hesitated again. Then I admitted: “Even if I forgave him and we got back together, I don’t feel I can trust him. What kind of relationship is that?”
“True… After all you are here and he’s in Chicago.” Cody was silent for a few minutes. It gave me time to think over what he was saying. Then he added:
“So what you’re saying is; it’s better for the two of you to make a clean break of things now rather than risk hurting each other more, right?”
I thought over his analogy carefully before replying, “Yea well when you put it like that, guess so.” Abruptly Cody slid me down setting me gently back on my feet again. I already began missing his strength and warmth. I think he was already spoiling me, I just didn’t know it. He then turned around facing me. He took a gentle masculine hand and stroked my cheek and gave me a slight smile before saying:
“Doesn’t he deserve to know that much? Is it fair to leave him in limbo like this?”
There was something in his eyes. He looked at me as if he were glimpsing fragments of my soul. It ignited something inside of me again. I felt a small familiar stirring in my heart; something I had only felt for Zai once. Then he surprised me by saying,
“Besides, what about us?”
Momentarily I was taken off guard. I was about to respond when:
“Sup Nevada, long time no see…” I heard the voice, but I couldn’t fathom that it was real- it was him. Jumping jellybeans, my eyes had to be deceiving me I thought. But when I blinked again- there he was standing right before me leaning against the post on my dorm’s building.
“Zai,” I said breathlessly.

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