Chapter Two

Gradually the numbness gave way to pain. The antidepressants didn't help that much, but maybe they were responsible for the fact that she had not lost control yet.

Lisa was making the beds one morning and Connie was in the bathroom brushing her teeth.

"You know," Lisa said, "you don't need to stay here and take care of me any longer. I can take care of myself."

Connie looked at her in the mirror. "You're not ready yet," she said around a mouth full of white foam. "You haven't even cried yet."

"I'm as ready as I'm ever going to get," Lisa responded without emotion. "And what does crying help? It won't bring them back."

Connie rinsed her mouth and put her toothbrush up before she responded. She came to the doorway. "I like being here with you," she insisted. "I could be a room mate - help you with the bills and pay rent."

"I don't need help with the bills. Thanks to the insurance, there aren't any."

"But you have to eat. That costs money - and gas . . ."

"I don't eat much - or go any place."

"That's just it. You don't do anything but sit around and stare. You answer me, but you don't hear me."

Lisa sighed. "I'm sorry I've been such a poor companion. As for sitting around doing nothing, I'm going to do something about that."